if i were a boy.

if i were a boy, things may have been different.

if i were a boy, would i receive the same love from parents

if i were a boy, would i still meet friends who i love so much just the way they are

if i were a boy, would i be a gal-candy cuz i know so much abt wt gals love.

if i were a boy, would i still be the one i am now.

this thoughts all come from this one song.

it recalls there were once in my short life i wish i could be someone else.

life has become bit chaotic. am i startin to fall off track...? where is the RIGHT road anyway.

there are books on the shelf waiting for me to flip through it.

there are keys and presents on my desk which i should hv mailed two weeks ago.

there are things i should hv done half year ago but i am too reluctant to get it done.

so this is me, me who like to escape from the reality til the very last min.

but there is always one thing i will give it priority. u should know.

ps. i wonder. what's the point of here's existence now.

my desktop now. loving it

What is life to you.

two films that i've recently watched.

in fact, today is the second time i watched LETTERS FROM IWO JIMA.

cried, as expected.

both used different ways to tell a story abt life. what is life to the characters in films.

life to Saigo in WWII is to stay alive until back home wif his wife and new-born daughter.

life to two main characters is HEAVEN'S DOOR is to live crazily, enjoy what u've left til the last minute of your life, which would be due three days afterwards.

to be honest, i watched these two films because of one person. 二宮和也

he was the main role in the former one and guest starred in the latter.

my reason for watching them may seem dull and superficial, but other than pure admiration to my idol, they gave me more.

i guess i would never be given any situation the same as them, as extreme as wat they've been through.

but still i got a glimpse. glimpse abt wt life should be.

not doing what others told u to, but things you believe is right to do.

i wonder what friends are.

i wonder if that's me. i wonder if i'm the one who have changed. if  i'm the one who started to behave badly, amplifying my shorts in my personality.

i wonder if i'm being bossy.

i wonder. i wonder if it's me or someone else.

i wonder why i start to feel annoyed. after all these years, why now?

annoyed. i reli was. i think i start to become a pretending person whom i disliked most.

so. is that what one would see? your true self will only be revealed to your closest ones. but i don't expect this.

please. remove my annoyance towards anyone. just want to be a grateful person. not a person full of unsatisfaction and opinions towards others.